- This pink chicken is delicious.
- Don’t worry, these train tracks haven’t been used in years.
- You can definitely pass this guy.
- I’m just learning Korean, but I’m pretty sure that sign says “South”.
- Of course he’s not waving a real machete.
- Mind if I pet your dog?
- It’s not like he won’t pay me back. After all, he’s a Nigerian prince.
- Inflammable is the good one, right?
- No, a shark fin is way pointier than that.
- I do.
New York City public library reading room. C.1911.
Dear employers, I will have to take the day off today because:
☐ It’s December and the streets are papier-mached with wet bronze leaves and it’s so dark outside that the cars have their headlights on at 3pm
☐ I have recently been through a breakup, or I have been through a breakup at any time in my life really, and I woke up today with the absolute conviction that I will never be loved again
☐ A dog looked at me
☐ I got a text from someone for whom I feel a mix of concern and frustration and recognition and longing that is both more and less than romance
☐ Someone made a joke about dead pets meeting you in heaven
☐ Daylight savings time
☐ I passed a knot of flowers that were so bright they glowed through the dim grey water of the day and when was anything in my life last that luminous?
☐ Girls are too pretty
☐ For the first time I genuinely comprehend that there is not enough time to have all the lives I wanted
☐ I accidentally listened to Leonard Cohen
So yeah, feminism might help some guys get laid. So does showering. And the reason feminist women don’t want to fuck anti-feminist cishet guys is the same reason that women with functioning olfactory faculties don’t fuck guys who don’t shower: it’s because y’all stink.