Ten Sentences Immediately Preceding Terribly Unfortunate Events

lolliblog:

  1. This pink chicken is delicious.
  2. Don’t worry, these train tracks haven’t been used in years.
  3. You can definitely pass this guy.
  4. I’m just learning Korean, but I’m pretty sure that sign says “South”.
  5. Of course he’s not waving a real machete.
  6. Mind if I pet your dog?
  7. It’s not like he won’t pay me back. After all, he’s a Nigerian prince.
  8. Inflammable is the good one, right?
  9. No, a shark fin is way pointier than that.
  10. I do.
onceuponatown:

New York City public library reading room. C.1911.

onceuponatown:

New York City public library reading room. C.1911.

(Source: coffee-and-wood)

porcvpine:

Alone in the Dark by AtomicZen

porcvpine:

Alone in the Dark by AtomicZen

I think of you a lot. I think of you and me walking along in a parking lot at night. Our shoulders rubbing against each other as we listen to our voices. We’re both damaged and beautiful. We know the order of order and the order of disorder. We’ve both been hunted and nearly destroyed by weaklings with big ideas. We know the night.
seancodyfan:

the most important photo of our time, the leader of the free world talking with president Obama

seancodyfan:

the most important photo of our time, the leader of the free world talking with president Obama

(Source: firemen)

dinolich:

veganatidae:

ethereo:

zhouyousifang's playful tiger

OMG

THE MOST WONDERFUL THING I HAVE SEEN IN MY LIFE.

The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.

Dear employers, I will have to take the day off today because:

☐ It’s December and the streets are papier-mached with wet bronze leaves and it’s so dark outside that the cars have their headlights on at 3pm

☐ I have recently been through a breakup, or I have been through a breakup at any time in my life really, and I woke up today with the absolute conviction that I will never be loved again

☐ A dog looked at me

☐ I got a text from someone for whom I feel a mix of concern and frustration and recognition and longing that is both more and less than romance

☐ Someone made a joke about dead pets meeting you in heaven

☐ Daylight savings time

☐ I passed a knot of flowers that were so bright they glowed through the dim grey water of the day and when was anything in my life last that luminous?

☐ Girls are too pretty

☐ For the first time I genuinely comprehend that there is not enough time to have all the lives I wanted

☐ I accidentally listened to Leonard Cohen

Now far be it from me to say that being a cishet guy feminist doesn’t give you some kind of advantage in certain circles. I’ve had sexual partners who I’m sure wouldn’t have slept with me if I hadn’t lived my belief in equality among genders. I’ve had a couple outright tell me that they were attracted to me, at least in part, because of my feminist beliefs. That being said, I’m sure I have a bunch of sexual partners who wouldn’t have fucked me if I had reeked to high heaven of the previous week’s physical exertion because I couldn’t be arsed to work a faucet. I’d imagine… all of them would agree if you asked them.

So yeah, feminism might help some guys get laid. So does showering. And the reason feminist women don’t want to fuck anti-feminist cishet guys is the same reason that women with functioning olfactory faculties don’t fuck guys who don’t shower: it’s because y’all stink.

(Source: doctorwho)